Australia vs. La France
I knew I wanted to come back. I was ready to be back in France. I really, really missed it. Even with the shitty administration, mild racism, challenging things but… it’s been my dream for so long to just BE here. I knew I wasn’t ready to finish there yet.
It was interesting to process the feelings as I was really happy to be back in Melbourne and it felt like home too. It took some time to adjust but I was happy to go back to France. It just felt right. Just like how it felt right to finally be here and to just live.
Moving/Finding a place
What a challenge! I found places through Leboncoin and through facebook but either they were not central or people had issues that I just started a job, even though I had a good job that was permanent, full time.. and I had savings!
A landlord even preferred to rent to someone who had NO job with a guarantor, and not even me who had a good job, payslip for the first month AND a guarantor! Boggled the mind!!
So different from when I was looking for a place in Melbourne or assessing applications for creditworthy applications. Very different criteria. I understand that if a landlord doesn’t know how to read my contract but wow, they’d still rather accept someone WITHOUT a job?! I’m flabbergasted!
In the end, I went with an agency called Chez Nestor and booked a flatshare. It was professional, quick and easy. Yeah, it was more expensive but I could lock a place down ASAP and it was fully furnished as well as all utilities included. Just easier! I lucked out and got one with my own shower and sink and 2-storeys so I could work downstairs and escape to bed upstairs 🙂 It worked out!
WFH
It was harder than I thought. I really, really had to get my schedule going and mostly, work around my own stressors about “doing enough” and “doing a job that was good enough”. I found it hard to not have people around to bounce off energy or ideas. Also it was tough as I felt I was always behind people as France is 9hours (at the moment) behind Melbourne. So, it was like I couldn’t prove I was productive and felt left out, socially and also to get stuff done.
Little by little, I learned to appreciate the good parts too: like how I can check my internal Slack messaging system and emails and then plow on to do my own work. How I can set my own hours and that people trust me to do what I do! And at the end of the day, just appreciate that I have a job now too 🙂
Self Isolation
At this point, the full shituation with the Corona-virus hit and well, I moved into my place for 3 days and then left it go stay with my partner, LOL what a shit show seriously. Allll that stress and drama for nothing! Seriously, life is too short for this shit sometimes.
So glad I went traveling and lived my dream to explore Europe. I’m glad I took time off for myself and relaxed. Glad I took risks and LIVED. I did end up finding a job and stressing about a job… and now, I can see that was pointless! With this self-isolation, there is a lot (A LOT) of time to be solitary, to be idle, to be calmer.
There is still SO much pressure out there to DO and ACHIEVE. Take these online courses, you should read, you can now do crafts and actually do things you like, you should cook more to be healthy, anyone can go on youtube and exercise… don’t give up that summer bod now!, well you should sleep better cuz no commuting and more YOU time right?!, tidy up your house so you’re ready to have people over again when you can!
OMG
STOP
Stop the over-achieving, stop the continual need to produce, to beat other people, to shame temporary idle daydreaming. It’s too much. Yes, I SHOULD and I DO want to improve my French but I don’t HAVE to do it to be “useful” or “maximize” my time. What I am doing, who I am, I’m ENOUGH.
So glad that there are the free operas and musicals and shows. Sometimes it’s OKAY to chill out people!! With that said, I haven’t done that much and it’s nice to just stare at the sky sometimes and think and be grateful for life. I acknowledge I’m lucky to have a backyard to venture out to, a garden to potter about and sunshine to bask. So, I just want to quietly be mindful about it, rather than having my life devoured by societies demands and ever-moving goal posts. I am grateful and just want to be at peace.
Living with Someone
Well, first time living with a partner. Out of requirement (well not really, I could’ve stayed at my own place) but still. It’s a good practice run, I suppose. I really I’m really a freakin neat freak. HAHAHA and just different wake up/sleep in habits, priorities, food preferences… it’s really interesting.
I’m grateful this dude has been very patient and understanding and generally defaults to let me have what I want, especially what I want to eat hehe Still, it’s been an experience.
Antics & Adventures 